Announcement

I am back.

But I am by no means safe.

The tall man followed me the whole time and is still here.

I figured out the code. Where I went, there was a code professional who was able to help me out as a favor. The original translation of the code is with all of my packing stuff for the summer, but basically it said that, while Mona is the first, she won't be the last to disappear.

I sent it to the authorities, but they have pretty much closed the case.

I am staying in an undisclosed location and using a computer in a store, as recommended by the decoder, since my IP address can be traced back. It might have been the way the batter found me in the first place.

I say batter because I... well I know it sounds crazy but I don't think that the tall-suited guy could follow me by that means if I tried.

The decoder did a background check concerning my stalkers. While nothing that described the batter came up on the search, A LOT came up on the tall man. It has many names, but the Operator is a common one, others the Slender Man. He is a being, of unidentifiable nature, and has been recorded to stalk and or kill its victims. The dead animals I found are a common sign of its presence.

It is indestructible, and deadly. The decoder is a nice guy, and he says he will continue searching for information.

But my case is very different, in some ways. A common experience is a hollow depression. I feel as if something is inside of me, trying to break out savagely, and that is what causes me to cut my wrists open in my sleep, making me go manic.

Danny has said I have attacked him, multiple times at night, but I have no memory of it... I think I might need to be exorcized or something. He started having to hold my arms together so tight it caused severe bruising. And he feels horrible every time, yet refuses to give up on me.

So it seems like I am being hunted and decayed from the inside out. Danny has had to stay away at night, even though he insists on protecting me. He said that during the trip, he began to see the Slender Man but he may be lying to me. I think he is becoming too attached to me... but at least I do not have to deal with the batter.

I want to contact people with the same problem, so I will try to do so. Please, if you have more information, let me know.

Running Away

Hello World

I am done.

I am done waking up in the middle of the night, and checking outside my own damn windows to see if they are out there. And seeing that they are.

I am done with the new terrifying addition of dead animals on my door step every morning.

I am done walking to classes and everybody looking at me like I am some sort of freak-show (yeah, someone on campus found this blog, and started sharing it for laughs. Asshole.)

There seems to be no other solution.

So, after talking to Dan a lot, and a bit to my aunt, I have decided to take a trip. I won't say what trip it is (for the obvious reasons), but I will say that it is free and I can be excused from classes for it. Salvation, for about 6 weeks, on the other side of the world.

I hate having to run away from my problems, but it doesn't seem like I can do anything there to help my situation. Everything I have tried has made my situation worse. The police think I am crazy depressed and stressed because of Mona's disappearance. All my classmates think I am crazy. I don't even know how much more Dan can take, but at least it has made us closer. He is coming with me, just to make sure that I am safe and not alone.

The place where I am going to has some people who are really good code solvers. I will figure it out there, and post what the message is. Maybe then we can finally figure out what it says.

I will post any updates, and again, any information you may be able to give me would be amazing.

Peace

Me & my stalkers

I can't walk outside anymore. I can't hide what is true, and I am so sorry Dan.

Dan has had to go outside to stop the one with the baseball bat from getting closer to my windows (I guess he figured out where I was). He is trying really hard to not make a big deal out of this, but he is terrified for my safety. He thinks that I should put cameras up around my apartment to catch him so I could make a police report, but the police and I don't exactly get along very well, so I don't think I will spend a grand on this creep.

That, I can deal with. He is real, personal, in my face and tangible.

The tall one... is not.

The tall one is always outside when no one else is around, sometimes even when Dan is around. But Dan never sees him, the tall one always disappears before he can see him. And I realized what is wrong with his face.

IT ISN'T THERE. HOW

I think I am going insane guys, and I am freaking out. It's not like I haven't been taking my medications or anything different. The real stalker, the one with the baseball bat, I can handle that. But not both. How could anyone?

Mona being gone just makes everything worse. I never smile anymore, never go see movies, and I have zero self confidence. I don't think she is dead though, but in a way, I hope that she is. So that she isn't in pain somewhere. I want her back so bad. And the damned code is only making me more nervous the longer it takes for me to figure out.

And since Mona is gone, I have no one to talk to my stress with Dan with. He is trying to be strong but it isn't convincing me, and he always looks at my wrists in worry. I have been treating them as well as I can and cleaning them (which is a pain in the ass), but he always looks at me like a strange bird. I feel caged and edgy, and if I am not careful, I will snap at him, causing him to leave. He told me not to mention this, but I need to share this with someone.

Please, do any of you know what this is? What is happening? Has this happened to other people before? Is this some sort of cult?

Well, I'm back

Hello World

I took off some time on my blog because, well, I have been trying to get my life back together.

After the last time I posted, I have been going everywhere with someone else just in case. I haven't seen the tall dude or the hooded baseball player, but I am still very wary of the whole situation. So much so that I have actually moved in with Dan, and I am helping pay the rent and stuff. I really liked being independent, but I am not so sure that is the safest thing to do at this time.

I really appreciate Dan's help. Even though lately things have been rocky, he has believed me. He isn't sure if the tall guy really exists (he thinks it's stress, but I call bullshit). But he knows about the hooded baseball player, and is trying to get me to take some self defense classes at school, which I am probably going to do if I can get some money.

Mona is still missing, and at this point most people have given up hope. I am going to work on the code this week and let you guys know if I find anything out.

Peace

Followed: March 5th

I am being followed. By two different people. Just my luck.

I was walking to Mona's apartment after just doing another search party, just to see if I could find any hints. After looking around the outside, I thought I might try and break in, and was trying all the windows. But then I felt like I was being watched, and I turned around.

Across the street there was a man in a long black suit, extremely tall and menacing. I didn't get a good look at his face, but it seemed blank. I ran, thinking he was going to call the police, but he only stood and stared at me.

I was about a block away from my apartment when I realized I was being chased. I looked behind me, expecting to see the man in the suit, but instead seeing a hooded man with a baseball bat chasing me. Terrified by the thought that he might have been the person who took Mona, I ran past my apartment into a nearby mall. I managed to lose him in the stores, and I bought and changed into different clothes and left.

On my way back to my apartment, I realized my chaser's jacket looked similar to the one worn by the guy standing outside Dan's apartment during my stay with him. This realization made me lose my shit, and I sat outside on the curb sobbing.

I called Dan, begging him to pick me up, and he came immediately and took me back to his place. I told him all I knew, about the scars on my wrists and the messages, how I honestly didn't remember what happened to Mona, and what had just happened at her apartment. He held me and calmed me down, but he FINALLY believed me (I love him, but damn he can be such a dick sometimes). He told me to call the police, but at this point what good would it do? They didn't really leave any proof, and if anything I would be the one arrested for trying to break into Mona's place.

I stayed at his place that night, and I stayed on the couch by the window.

Big mistake.

At around 1 am, during one of my really bad coughing fits, I looked outside the window. The man in the suit was right outside the window. Staring. Which is impossible, considering how high Dan's apartment is. And again, his face was...almost not there. I couldn't see it, but I don't really think I was paying that much attention during my screams of terror. Dan came running in, but then the man...it was fucking GONE.

After this, I don't remember much, the rest is Dan's story.

I was still screaming, and Dan looked out the window. He told me later that he saw the man in the hood with the baseball hat, looking up through the trees at the apartment. Dan ran downstairs, but the time he got down to street level the man was already across the park. Dan is the star water polo player and is built like a quarterback, so I am not really surprised the dude booked it.

When Dan came back upstairs, he said that I was laughing maniacally, cutting new markings into my wrists. When I saw him, I laughed harder, and screamed: "YOU CANNOT SAVE HER! SHE IS MINE, HAS BEEN SINCE SHE WAS BORN. MINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINE-"

He shook me, even slapped me (he apologized, he feels like shit) and I came back. Well, I sorta looked at him, and said "Help", and passed out in his arms. He freaked out, and poured a bucket of ice cold water over me. I woke up, and acted all pissed. That part, I remember, and so does my nose.

So after that, I got into warm clothes. Dan made me stay in his room the rest of the night and stood by the door and window with a night, staking out. The next day, he and a few of his water polo friends went to my apartment, but it was fine, and I was able to go to classes the next Monday.

Let me tell you, that was the second worst day of my life, and I have had bad days. I don't know what I would do without Dan. It's moments like this I really miss Mona, and her clear-headedness. I wonder if the codes have anything to do with these people following me and Mona's disappearance.

PLEASE if you know anything about the codes, or anything that is going on, don't hesitate to email me at signalwithoutthen@gmail.com

Peace and please stay safe readers

Numb

I talked to Dan today. Mona is missing. She has been for about a month now. He didn't understand how I could forget so much time, he thinks I am lying to make him forgive me. Dan said that I refused to go on any search parties, and was very nonchalant about the whole issue. He is so upset at everything. I am numb.

I went to her apartment and no one was there. There was one dude walking past, who stopped to look at me, but then quickly walked away, it was weird, as if he thought I was going to break in. No lights, nothing on in the house, but her stuff is still there.

She left school and never made it home. They have had no leads and all search parties didn't turn up anything. No messages to professors, she straight up disappeared.

One of my best friends is gone and I can't remember what happened that month. Did I do something in the time I forgot that can help? I need to find her and find out what happened, maybe go to another psychologist to help me get back my memory. I set up an appointment with a doctor in about 2 months (it was the soonest I could get) to help with my medical issues.

Oh, and Base 64 guy #2 who hacked my pointless blog? Go take a looooooong walk of a very short cliff. Because I am done. If I find out who you are, and you have something to do with this, I will hunt you down.

If any of you can figure out what happened to Mona, or what that damned code means, or what any of this means, please let me know.

Peace

U1NCallXNXViM1FnYUdWc2J5QjViM1VnYlc5eVpTQjBhR0Z1SUVrZ1kyRnVJRzV2ZHlCMGFHVWdhMlY1SUdseklHbHVJSFJvWlNCMGFXMWxjeUJ6ZEdGNUlITmhabVVnY0d4bFlYTmxJRzkwYUdWeQ==

VkVkc1FtUlZlSEJSV0ZaTllWUlNibFJJYkVKa1ZYaFVUa2hXU2xGNlVqRlVSMnN3WkVWc1JFOUhaRTFoVkVJeFUxVk5kMlJGZUZSUldGWk5ZVlJTYmxSSGF6QmtWV3hFVDBka1RXRlVVakZVUjJ4Q1pGVjRjRTVJVWtwUmVsSnVWRWRzUW1SVmVGUk9SREE5DQo=

One last thing

I just got to thinking that I could figure out some stuff by looking at my school email to see if I have been in school. I have, but I also did a lot of catch-up work, which I think means that I missed a few days of school, which is a relief. I would have had to take off a semester, something I can't really afford to do at this point.

Then, I got to thinking about how my phone messages could tell me more. I had a conversation with Dan, but it wasn't anything really out of the ordinary. He kept inviting me to events at places I have never even heard of, and I always said had something else to do. He seemed really pissed and put off, and we eventually stopped texting. I had three missed messages from him asking where I was, and he seemed really un-Dan-like. I didn't message or call Mona at all after the 29th, which was very strange considering the days before I had called and texted her literally 100 times, asking if she was ok and where she was. Why did I stop after that amount of time? Can't really tell you. I am really freaked out and all I want to do is talk to her, so I am going to go there now (she can deal with it being 10 o'clock). I will update as soon as I can

Well this is awkward

I was apparently going to do a big PLAN REVEAL after this last post, but there's one tiny flaw. I don't exactly remember the last, say, month. At all. Like, I don't remember anything. I woke up to an alarm at 4 o'clock this morning for God knows why, thinking it was still January. And I looked on my phone to find out I was off only by a little bit: as in February 26th instead of January 23rd.

First things first, I called Dan. No answer, as per normal considering he would have been in class. Mona, though worries me. She lives on her phone, and the voice on the phone said the number was disconnected. This blows my mind, considering how she always paid on time. I have no idea what has happened to her.

So I just logged onto here, hoping to figure out what has happened in the last month. And all I got was that I was at a mysterious place, there was some really poorly written Base 64 code (like that is more embarrassing than anything), and that was it. For future reference, intimidating me will not be because of really poorly written code, ok? Just isn't really cutting it for me.

Oh, fun fact, the scratches are still there, but they look really gross, but straighter, as if I am getting better at it. And my cough just will not go away, and it's giving me a headache.

I am such a wreck. I think I am going to swing by Mona's place, and then to school to see if I have been in class or not, and try to see where I am at. I need to see a doctor...

Peace

Will get details soon

So I have been MIA a while, an update will come about soon. But, long story short, I have been gone for two and a half weeks, but fun fact, I can't tell you where. But I am uploading the only evidence I have so far, not including the last post in which I have no idea what it says. This picture was found on my computer, and I uploaded it as my profile picture. Do any of you know what this means?

U2hoaCBkQXJsaW4galVTc3QgYVRvb2wgdCBHRXQgQkFjayB0byBPdVIgR2FNRVMga2VwIGF3eSBmcm9tIFRIZSBUUkVlcyBIQUhBSGhhaGFoQUhBaGFoQUhh

Where it all started, might as well

Hello World

Life hasn't been easy this past week, and I kind of feel the need to vent. You ok with that internet? You sure? Ok, here it goes:

So, Dan and I have been having issues lately. He basically said that I was being distant during some times and not others, and acting weirdly around him at other times. And honestly, I have no idea what he is talking about. I haven't exactly been chipper, but thats not out of the ordinary. HE tells me things that I have done, things I have no recollection of, that frankly doesn't sound like anything I have done. I feel that the fact that he let me stay at his place, and that my coughing is still bad, is just getting on his nerves. So, I have moved back into my place.

Listen, it's not like Dan and I aren't friends or anything, he is honestly the closest person I have. He has helped me with so much, dealing with school and surviving life in general.

I guess I should say why he made me start the blog. I... have always dealt with the hand that life gave me and tried to make the best of it. I get it: life isn't fair. But, just a couple months ago, I started waking up with cuts on my arms. Scratches, made by nails, but done repeatedly. I thought that it might be my imagination, but there was so much blood. I freaked out, thinking someone had broken in and done this, until I realized that I was the one making the cuts. No, I don't remember making them, I must have made them in my sleep. So I cut my nails, put on gloves, and so forth. But the next day, I would find a freaking knife on my bedside table, and the mark made with it.

I talked to Dan about it, and he said I had to go to the doctor (which I told him I couldn't exactly afford, being a college student and all). Dan said he had a friend, a senior year psych major. His psychologist friend couldn't find anything wrong, perhaps some childhood trauma was haunting me. So he said to release my stress and fear out on this blog, and Dan made the account.

I still find the marks, every morning. They don't even try to scab over. I feel like I should know why the symbol is being carved into me. But how can I stop it when I will only use other means to achieve it? I don't cut, I am not depressed. I hope.

But I will admit to being increasingly paranoid. Hah, one more to add to that laundry list. When I was at Dan's, that person kept showing up in the park, and I noticed he wasn't walking. He was pacing, and kept looking up at the building. And the trees seemed to close in on that man. He would leave, though, and run the other direction. Can't tell you why. Police officer?

I hope that tonight I will sleep soundly in my own bed. I'm sick of all this weird shit happening to me. Why does this have to always happen to me?

Thanks for listening internet to a poor little girl's problems

Peace

Just bored

hi world

Lately, I have been doing the same, the cough getting a little bit better but not really. I guess I have become accustomed to it. But honestly, I need to be able to get back to classes at some point. Dan has been really supportive of me, and Mona visits sometimes. Her being a pre-med student doesn't allow her for having a lot of time.

Just being alone all day has made me paranoid. I keep thinking I hear noises in Dan's apartment, or that something is in the park next door. And there always seems to be someone in the park. Can't tell you why they are there at like 3 am, but hey if you gotta walk the dog you gotta walk the dog.

Wish I could just sleep in peace. Again, any suggestions?

Peace

Because I finally got wifi

Hello world

Nice to be out of the land of the dead and be in the one of the living. I mean that I have been in the hospital, and I didn't have any wifi at the clinic. Basically, the cough got so bad that I was not only coughing up blood, but I passed out on my way to a lecture. Thankfully, Dan was able to bring me to hospital after finding me passed out on the stairs. The doctors have no idea of why I have the cough, and it honestly scared me. They took some blood work, but they don't think it will show anything. They released me, but I am still coughing pretty hard. They think it might be because of stress, but honestly, school isn't that hard.

I have tried everything. And it's not like I have money for insurance, so I had to spend a lot of my savings from my dad's life insurance, which I was saving for tuition. Dan's letting me stay with him, but honestly I need to get back to going to class. And I can't sleep anymore.

At least the weather here hasn't been that bad. A little cold, which doesn't help my cough, but not like anything on the east coast. The nice thing about Dan's apartment is that it has a lot of trees around it, unlike my concrete block of a dorm. It's nice to look outside at the birds and people in the park next to it.

I have been playing Dan's ukulele when he is at classes and I am bored with computer games and studying. Maybe I will upload a tutorial to some songs that I have learned to youtube. I'm not that interesting to be honest, I don't think anyone will see them. Oh well, maybe leave a comment if you wanna see something. Can you do that with blogs? And maybe some advice on why I might be coughing so much?

Peace

I guess I am really doing thing, aren't I

Hello World

So, yes, my friend Dan is still making write this blog. Whoop-di-frickin-do. Not much has happened in the last week. I got a haircut, went shopping, and tried to do some homework before the next term starts.

Most of my friends are out of town, except for Dan and Mona. I stayed in town at Mona's house along with Dan. I got Dan and Mona both Nerf guns, which they freaked out about, and we plan on having intermediate wars. Mona kitted me a camo beanie, which is so cool looking. Dan got me a new camera, which I don't think I will use, but its pretty awesome. Its warm here, it doesn't really feel like winter, but thats just a perk of living in SoCal.

I have been developing a nasty cough though, and it really sucks because it hurts to even breathe. I don't really want to go to the doctor, I think its just a viral thing anyways. Anyone know how to get rid of a bad cough, lemme know. I have been drinking tea and wearing scarves looking like a fool, but its not getting any better.

It is... nice to have somewhere to write down this sort of stuff, (yeah yeah yeah Dan I hear you), and with the new term I don't think it will be hard to update.